Losing Your Memory
by PyroQueenOfFire
Summary: Brooke and Dean are happily married with three kids until a car accident rips her memory away from her. Can she get it back? Or does Dean have to lose the one perfect thing he's ever had?; Dean/Brooke
1. The Accident

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**This is basically my way of trying to get back into the groove. This is **_**very**_** AU, and I mean as in Mary is still alive, Bobby is Brooke's real father…that kind of AU. I'll explain more in notes at the beginning as it goes along.**

**WARNINGS: Language, Blood, Sex, Dark Themes**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

Perhaps it was the sound of broken glass on the other end of the line that brought Dean into the reality and seriousness of the situation, but perhaps it was more than that. Little Johnny had just been cooing to his brother while Dean was catching up on some work and he had this giant grin on his face when his phone rang. It was Brooke of course and so he picked it up, but his wife's voice didn't come through on the other line like he was expecting it to. Instead he heard all sorts of sounds that started to make his stomach churn and wiped the smile clean off of his face.

It was almost as if the twins knew that something was wrong, because along with the paler of Dean's complexion as he heard the breaking glass and the screeching tires and the screams on the other end, the cooing ceased. Besides the sounds of the water and Brooke trying to make sure that Jamie was alright, there was absolutely no other sounds happening. It was almost as if Dean's heart had stopped beating and yet it was trying to break through his chest.

"Brooke…" he managed, but it was strangled.

"Jamie! Hey, honey. Are you okay?" Brooke asked her eldest son, concern for his well-being over her own present in her syllables.

Jamie nodded even though he was stuck. "Yeah, Mom. I'm not hurt."

"Brooke…" Dean said louder.

The sound was garbled a bit now as the water began to do its damage on the car, Brooke trying to get herself free in time to save her son. Her leg was stuck and yet she could still reach back and help with Jamie's seat belt as the care began to sink. He didn't want to leave his mother, but she practically forced him out of the car as Dean called his brother, Sam, from the land line and called for him to come and look after the twins while he went out to fix this.

Brooke's cell had a lojack on it, so he could find her.

He had to.

That was his _family_ that was in danger.

**Note: Short intro, but I'm posting the next couple of chapters tonight. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	2. Saving the Love of Your Life

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**I'm having fun writing this because I am fueled by angst, lol, and I think it's important that you all pay attention to the next few chapters because they're incredibly important in telling you how this world is all set up.**

**WARNINGS: Language, Blood, Sex, Dark Themes**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

"_You are the hottest girl in this bar," Dean said with a grin on his face as he ordered her a shot._

_Brooke rolled her eyes at the stranger. "How many times does that line actually work?"_

"_You tell me," he responded as he looked her in the eye._

_Again Brooke rolled her eyes, but the brunette couldn't help but be intrigued by the handsome man that was hitting on her that night. She and Haley were celebrating for a few different reasons, mostly about the successful ending to the first year of college, and since Haley was currently off with Sam, her friend from Stanford grabbing something from the car, Brooke was feeling a tiny bit flattered. Out of all of the other women he could have hit on, Dean Winchester had picked Brooke Davis and she shrugged a bit as she decided to play along._

"_I'm thinking never." Brooke told him, slinging the shot back and smiling at Dean. "I thank you for the shot, however."_

_Dean nodded and started to stand up. "You're welcome."_

"_That's it?" Brooke teased, chewing on her bottom lip. "For some reason I got the impression that you'd try just a little bit harder…"_

Of course Dean Winchester would try harder.

He was in his car and his brain was on overload trying to cycle through all of the memories of him and his wife and his family and trying to figure out what to do about it all. All he had done was fight for his family over the years and he would always continue to do just that because they were his whole world and he couldn't live without them. Not demons or angels and even normal whackjobs could take them away from him…never. He and Brooke had overcome _way_ too much to get to this point and he wasn't about to lose all of it due to an accident.

"Come on, come on," he chanted to his steering wheel as he drove along.

Someone had seen the car crash happen and they had called the cops as Dean was getting the whereabouts of his wife, and she actually hadn't been that far from him. In fact when he got there, the mother and her two kids that had called it in were crowding around Jamie and Dean was already stripping off his rain coat as the rain beat down on him, Jamie seeing his father and trying to be excited, but he was worried. The car had just under now and his mother was still down there.

"Dad!" Jamie called out.

Dean nodded and after they shared a look, Dean jumped off of the bridge and into the freezing cold water, adjusting a moment and then swimming toward the car. There was nothing that he wouldn't do for Brooke Davis and there was nothing that she wouldn't do for him—he knew that and that meant that he had to succeed. He had to save her and in turn save his entire world or he was going to regret it forever…he was going to have to raise his sons on his own.

"_You don't get to do this to me!" Brooke yelled at him, coming out of her bedroom pulling on a robe as he zipped up his jeans and took a deep breath. "You don't get to just get mad and storm out, Dean Winchester! This isn't just you or just me anymore!"_

_Dean turned to face her. "You think I don't know that? You know damn well by now that this thing between us is more than some weekend fling so stop acting like I'm running."_

"_But that's what you always do!" she retorted, pulling the robe tightly closed across her naked flesh. "I told you that I loved you and you walked out. I told you that I didn't want you to leave again and you walked out. Now I tell you that I found out this morning that I was two months pregnant and you're getting dressed to walk right out!"_

"_In my defense, I came back within an hour or two each time!" Dean snapped, rubbing his temples._

_Besides the occasional demon hunt, Dean had led a somewhat normal life and even Brooke had—she hadn't even found out that Bobby Singer was her biological father until the first year of college. They both knew what kinds of dangers were out there and yet Brooke was like this magnetic pull that kept Dean coming back until the day he realized that he couldn't leave because being apart from her hurt way too much. Now here he was faced with an actual future and unlike the last times, he wasn't actually heading out the door…he just needed to wrap his head around this._

"_And that's supposed to make me feel better?" Brooke asked him, more sad than she was angry now. "I mean we're having a baby here, Dean and the first thing you did when you heard was get out of bed and pull your pants on…"_

_Dean nodded slowly and realized words were coming out he wanted to say ages ago. "Marry me."_

Dean knew that the words should have never come out like that, but as he saw the car and he saw Brooke looking so lifeless, he realized that same guilt again. He could feel all of those feelings that he felt when he had asked Brooke to marry him like that and the most prominent one was guilt—guilt for not asking her sooner than he had…for not asking _better_ than that. But now all Dean could do was charge into the car as fast as he could under water and free his wife's leg.

"Where are they?" Jamie asked in a panic.

The mother from the car that saw the other car hit them just rubbed his shoulders until he shook her off and ran toward the broken edge of the bridge, his eyes lighting up. The water rippled and Dean came up gasping for air, Brooke in his arms, so Jamie took off running toward where Dean was coming up and laying Brooke down. She wasn't breathing and she looked rather pale, Dean keeping Jamie back as he started in on CPR and chanted under his breath all sorts of things to try and get her to wake up. This was the love of his life and he couldn't lose her…not now.

"Come on, Brooke…come on, Baby…" he said as he did the compressions. "Come on…you know I can't lose you, Davis…"

Jamie had tears on his face now as he saw his father working so hard to try and save his mother's life, smiling when Brooke suddenly coughed up some water, the sound of ambulances in the air. They had been almost home and now the ambulance was there and people were rushing them to get to Brooke and call the proper authorities about the car accident. They got Brooke up on the stretcher and Jamie started to call his uncle and his grandparents as Dean held onto Brooke's hand as she tried to figure out what exactly was going on and lost consciousness once again…Dean's face the last thing that she saw before she closed her eyes and everything went dark.


	3. Waking Up

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Here is where it all really starts and there are a **_**lot**_** of flashbacks because of the nature of the story. I wanted to start it off with a bang, give you guys all of the information, and then it'll go out with a bang, promise. This might get pretty long though, because I have so much planned.**

**WARNINGS: Language, Blood, Sex, Dark Themes**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

Everything seemed tense in the hospital room with the monitor constantly beeping and the sound of Dean's foot tapping against the floor anxiously. She hadn't woken up yet and while the kids were in the waiting room because they'd been getting noisy and Haley was watching them, Dean was on full hunter alert and when Jamie padded into the room, Dean sharply looked up. Jamie knew vaguely about demons and had seen his father like this before, but not quite like this at the same time—they'd never been this close to losing his mother…well, at least Jamie hadn't.

"_Davis, you had better pick up the Goddamn phone!" Dean said angrily into his phone as he called her for the tenth time._

_Sam checked that his gun was fully loaded and looked at his older brother. "You'd think that loving someone would warrant you using their first name…"_

"_Not when I'm this pissed off at her!" Dean replied, cursing as he hung up the phone and tried dialing her again. "She had better be dead or I swear to God I'm going to kill her myself!"_

"_Nice," Sam said shaking his head as he ran the flashlight over the wall. "Hey…is that her phone?"_

_Dean's ears perked up as he heard the ringtone Brooke had picked up for him going off and then suddenly there was a crunch and a muffled scream and it was silenced. Just like that, Dean was off like a bullet and he was to Brooke in a second, Sam having to hit the ghost behind him with an iron rod because Dean was focused. It was the first time in his life that a person took precedence over a demon that wasn't somehow his family._

_While he saved innocents and he protected the weak, Dean Winchester only got careless when he was faced with the lives of the people that he loved. He wanted more than anything to make sure that Brooke was okay and when he saw the blood on her clothes tears even stung his eyes as he un-gagged her. When she was no longer restrained, her arms were around him in an instant but something was wrong when her already loose grip loosened more and there she was, passed out in his arms and he and Sam were off to the hospital to get Brooke safe before coming after the ghost again—the ghost that that they did eventually take care of._

"How is she?" Jamie asked slowly.

Dean kissed his wife's hand and looked at her before looking at his son. "Stable, but still out."

"Uncle Sam says she might not wake up the right way, like the doctor said. She's going to be okay, right?" Jamie asked his father timidly.

"Come here…"

When Dean motioned to him, Jamie went gunning for him and Dean pulled him close and pulled him up onto his lap and kissed his head. He ran his fingers through the kid's hair like Brooke always did when Jamie was upset and they sat there for what felt like decades just looking at Brooke as she lay there. The sight of her hooked up to those machines and that infernal beeping sound of the heart monitor was putting them both on edge and Jamie was so much more sad. He just kept thinking that maybe his mother wasn't even going to wake up at this point and he didn't want that to happen—they all needed her because she was their rock.

"Dad…" Jamie said quickly.

There was a pounding in Brooke's head and she was feeling a little out of breath and a bit light headed as she started coming to. She could hear two distinct male voices and they seemed excited as her eyes fluttered open and she tried to get her bearings because it certainly looked like she was in a hospital and she very vaguely recognized the older man. That was just it, though…she didn't really know who he was, but she smiled for the sake of the small boy in the room who had that giant grin on his face.

"Hi," she said weakly, smiling a little bit. "What happened?"

Jamie climbed up onto the bed and held her hand. "We were in a car accident, Momma."

Only Dean seemed to notice how Brooke flinched when Jamie got closer to her, and his smile started to fade as Brooke's face showed only that of confusion and she began to pull her hand away. She didn't really remember being in an accident let alone being someone's mother and Dean slowly reached for Jamie and picked him up, setting him off to the side of the bed. He felt his throat tighten up in sadness and he tried to swallow, but a lump in his throat was making it impossible for his next words to not come out rather pained.

"Baby, you look confused…" Dean tried slowly.

Brooke nodded a little bit. "Because I don't know you…I don't know either of you."

Jamie opened his mouth to say something, but instead he rushed out of the room, which caused Dean to sigh and then head out after him. He wanted to stay with his wife, but Jamie was just so important to him and he had to make sure that the kid was alright because for so long it was just the three of them. The twins didn't come until shortly after John and Bobby had almost died because of a hunt gone wrong and then disappeared and Dean vowed then and there that he would never abandon his family. In fact Dean had told himself even before that, that he had changed and he was better off the way that he had become.

"_Hey look at that…you're a dad," Brooke said as the nurse handed her the newborn._

_Dean smiled and nodded, tears in his eyes. "Yeah…wow. He's so small."_

"_I hope so, cause I pushed him out of an even tinier place." Brooke joked as she looked at the baby in her arms and smiled at Dean running his fingers through her damp hair. "We made this…wow."_

"_He looks just like me," Dean said sitting on the edge of the bed and kissing Brooke's temple. "Now you're really never getting rid of me."_

_Brooke laughed and handed the baby to Dean, who paused a moment and then allowed the little guy to be put into his arms. As he looked down at the innocent little boy, he smiled wider and then looked at Brooke, who smiled at him with this smile that made his heart practically leap out of his chest. They had made this tiny baby and he was responsible for it and there was no way that he would ever be anything but the best dad that he could ever be. That meant that he had to step up and be the dad that the child deserved._

"_I need to marry your Mom nice and proper now," Dean said with a nod. "Something more than a court room. A big wedding."_

_Brooke smiled and shook her head. "We were planning a wedding and we went for the courthouse because we wanted it right then and there. I don't regret it."_

"_I do. Constantly. You wanted that white dress affair and I convinced you otherwise because I couldn't afford it and our parents were fighting and it was wrong of me, wasn't it, Son?" Dean asked before pretending his son was talking. "Yes, Dad. That was mean of you."_

"_Dean…"_

"_Jamie. His name is going to be Jamie."_

It hurt Dean's heart so much to see his son so distraught about what was happening around him and honestly Dean couldn't blame him. They were expecting Brooke to wake up and be happy that she was there with them and yet she didn't remember them—that meant that she was missing at least ten years since she had known Dean a little more than ten years now. What hurt the most, was that she didn't remember their children and Dean didn't know what he was going to do.

"Buddy, stop," Dean tried with a heavy sigh, reaching Jamie and stopping him.

Jamie shook his head, tears in his eyes. "She doesn't remember!"

"Hey, we don't know everything right now, Kid." Dean told him as he knelt down and looked Jamie in the eye. "Go wait with Uncle Sammy and Aunt Haley and I'll be back, okay?"

Jamie nodded as Dean kissed his forehead and went to the waiting room, Dean taking a deep breath and heading back to Brooke's hospital room. A doctor was talking to her as a nurse made sure to check her vitals and write all the information down, the doctor looking at Dean as he came in. It was almost as if Dean knew that only bad news would come of it all and he sat down in order to brace himself a little bit more for the fall out.

"I need to talk to your husband," the doctor told Brooke.

She nodded slowly. "Yeah…of course."

Brooke still didn't know what to think of all of it, but at the same time she had a ring on and the doctor confirmed it. It just hurt her heart to know that she had a son and that she couldn't remember any of that. She wondered if she was happy and if everything was the way that she had pictured it all eventually because right now she just felt sore and scared. Brooke didn't know what to do or who to run to and she just wanted to remember because the last thing she remembered was the last finals of the first year of college.

"Your wife is suffering from memory loss," the doctor told Dean and held his hand up to stop Dean from making a smart ass remark because he recognized the look on his face. "She's been through a really traumatic experience and she was under the water for a long time…she has suffered a little bit of brain damage, but I think that she can recover."

Dean nodded slowly as that painful tug at his heart happened again. "How much damage?"

"Last thing she says she remembers is her first year of college." The doctor informed him.

"That was ten years ago!" Dean exclaimed, running his hand down his face. "I…will she ever remember what happened after that?"

The doctor shrugged slowly. "That all depends on you and her willingness to remember."


	4. Evaluating the Situation

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay, here we go and there are a **_**lot**_** of flashbacks in this one.**

**WARNINGS: Language, Blood, Sex, Dark Themes**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

Brooke kind of stared at her ring as Dean talked with the doctor, not really knowing what was going on but trying to piece it all together. She was married and she had a son and she wanted to know what in the world was going on around here because she couldn't remember that…last thing she remember was getting ready to celebrate the end of the first year of college with Haley. Now she was in the hospital in a hospital bed, waiting to talk to her 'husband' that she didn't even remember meeting and she was a little scared.

"Hi," Dean said as he entered the room slowly.

She looked up at him and smiled a little bit. "Hi…this is a really nice ring you got me."

It wasn't exactly what she had wanted to say to him, but she had been looking at the ring when he had come in. It had a unique cut and a unique band and she had a feeling that he had had it made for her, which made her smile a little bit at just how thoughtful that he was…but she didn't know him. Not his name or how they met or how they fell in love—none of it. She couldn't remember the sex or the wedding or becoming a mother and she felt so bad about all of that.

Nothing was worse for her than waking up and finding out that she had an actual family and that now she didn't remember them. She didn't remember the people that were the most important to her and she was the worst mother of all time…because what kind of mother forgot her own son? Brooke smiled sadly and tried to sit up, cringing a little bit because her body was sore and she knew that she needed to take it slow but she just couldn't.

"Yeah…I made it just for you," Dean said as he took a seat, looking at his wife. "Baby, I know you don't remember anything but I'm not going anywhere. When I was giving you CPR and I thought you were dying on me, I could barely breathe. Hell, I could barely think or feel. You are my life and you are safe and I just want to help you."

Brooke nodded slowly as she listened to him—he sounded sincere. "I believe that you're my husband and that you want to help me, I just…I don't remember you, therefore I don't know you."

_Brooke was having a really hard time not looking at the ring on her finger as she and Haley hung out that night. Dean had proposed two weeks prior and then had gotten her this ring and she couldn't stop looking at it because he had designed it all himself and then re-proposed and it had been so romantic. Now she was showing it off to Haley and also just spending time with her because Haley was her best friend and nothing had ever really come between them before._

"_He certainly knows how to please a woman," Haley said with a laugh._

_Brooke nodded and then wiggled her eyebrows. "In more ways than one, Hales."_

"_Please, I really don't need to know about your sex lives, Brooke." Haley said shaking her head. "I'm just glad that you're happy because you deserve this. More than anyone I know, you deserve this."_

"_I like to think that I do," Brooke responded, running her fingers along her stomach. "I think it's a boy. I don't know why, I just think that Dean Winchester is destined to have boys, don't you think?"_

_Haley laughed and shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know—no one knows him as well as you do, Brooke."_

_Brooke smiled and nodded at that. "I know him better than anyone else and vice versa."_

Dean just nodded slowly and took a deep breath, trying to figure out what to say to her right now because he was drawing a blank. He had no idea what it was like to wake up and suddenly have no recollection of who you were…so he had no idea how he was supposed to help her except to try and to give her, her normal routine like the doctor had suggested that he do. Then there was Brooke, who was trying so very hard not to be so terrified of not knowing anything and she didn't want to disappoint Dean.

It was obvious that they were married and that they had a family and Brooke wanted to make that work. She was curious about their house and to see if they had any pets and she wanted to know more about this life that she carved out for herself because she had always wanted a family. She wanted to see pictures and hear stories and see if she couldn't get her memory back because she wanted to know if she was happy and in love and just…she wanted to know.

"I want to remember you," Brooke told him after a moment of silence. "I know that this is new to you as well and not just my problem. I want to know about you and about our son, I just need to take it slow. I want to feel up to leaving here and then I want to be able to spend some time looking around our house and figuring out everything."

Dean nodded slowly. "Son_s_. We, uh…we have three. There's Jamie and then there's the twins that we named after our parents—Jonathon and Robert. We just call them Johnny and Bobby, but yeah…we have three kids."

"Three?" Brooke asked him, looking utterly surprised. "Twins? Wow. I must either really love you, or really can't keep my hands off of you."

"I'd like to think it's a little of both, but I don't want you to feel pressured about that—you don't have to love me right now," Dean said slowly, "just trust me."

Brooke nodded slowly, taking in the information and trying to think it all over before she actually opened up her mouth to speak again. It was kind of hard for a moment to accept that she had three sons instead of one, but at the same time she had always wanted a family and it made her smile a bit to know that she had gotten what she had wanted. Not to mention Dean was still here, so he had to love her, right?

Brooke Davis had always wanted love.

She knew deep down that everyone wanted love, but she could tell by the look in his eyes that she meant something to him. It wasn't as much as most people would need to go on, but Brooke knew that if she was married and she had kids with the man that something had to be there, regardless of what that something was. So she just nodded slowly and decided to take him on faith even though she knew that right now she couldn't simply love him.

"I trust you right now," Brooke said with a nod. "I can't promise love but I can certainly promise that I want to remember. So when the doctor gives the 'okay', I'll come home with you and try my old routine I just…if I don't remember, try not to be too upset."

Dean smiled sadly. "I'll be upset but it's not your fault. I'm just glad that you and Jamie are both alive because I wouldn't have been able to make it through if you had died—either of you. He's having a rough time though."

"Of course he is, Dean," Brooke told him as she laid back down. "His own mother doesn't remember him and I could tell by the way he looked at me that he was my little boy, you know?"

"Yeah," Dean told her with a proud smile on his face suddenly. "He is certainly closer to you than he is to me, but he's still my little boy. I, uh…I don't think we'll have too hard a time."

Brooke nodded slowly. "It's going to be hard, Dean. I mean it won't be impossible unless I don't remember, but this isn't going to be a walk in the park. I can't remember a thing. It means I don't remember birthdays, sensations, inside jokes…that's all gone for now. It's locked up inside of my head and there's no way for me to just flip a switch and get it back."

Dean knew that she was speaking the truth and while he loved that she was being logical with him right now, he missed his wife. He missed being able to look at her and know that everything was going to be all right and to see that look in her eyes—see that love that she had for him every day. He didn't know if he was going to be able to get through anything if she didn't remember and suddenly there were some tears in his eyes. They weren't going to fall or anything, but he was having a hard time wrapping his head around the possibility that Brooke might not remember.

"There's a chance that I won't remember," Brooke said slowly. "I know you don't want to think about that, but if I can't remember then we have to prepare for that. Well…you do. I mean I guess we all do, but if I can't remember…I don't know what we're going to do."

Dean nodded slowly. "I know. I just don't want to think about the possibility that I've lost you. You can't remember the last ten years but I can, Brooke. I remember everything and I want to tell you all about it and I want you to remember. I want us to be able to move on with our lives and raise our kids and go back to being happy."

"I know and I want that too, Dean." Brooke admitted to him with a nod. "I want to know all about you and the kids and all of it…I want to be happy. I just feel overwhelmed and I feel like…I feel like you won't want me around if I can't remember and what if…what if it means splitting up?"

"It won't," Dean said quickly, shaking his head. "Even if you can't remember, we can make it work, I know we can. You can't give up."

"What makes you so sure about that?"

"You fell in love with me once, Brooke…I'm positive you'll fall in love with me again."

Anyone else would think that he was being full of himself, but Brooke smiled. "All right…where's the doctor?"


	5. Beginning to Cope

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay, this is kind of setting up the rest of it and the next chapter is really about Brooke trying to learn about what's going on and building up the UST between her and Dean.**

**WARNINGS: Language, Blood, Sex, Dark Themes**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

"_So what exactly are we doing?" Dean asked Brooke as he kissed her naked flesh gently, nipping at the soft flesh of her neck._

_They were laying in bed that night after a couple of rounds, Dean still stroking his fiancée's body and nipping at her skin because he was far from done with her. Brooke on the other hand, wanted to deal with some wedding details because she wanted to marry Dean Winchester regardless of how their parents weren't really seeing eye to eye. It wasn't that Brooke didn't want to focus on Dean too, she was just feeling like she wanted to make sure that this marriage was going to happen._

"_I'm trying to pick floral arrangements but someone is really making it difficult," Brooke said, moaning gently as Dean began to nip down her back._

_Dean smiled and kissed his shoulder. "I just want to have," he kissed her shoulder blade, nipping a little bit, teeth on her skin, "a little more time with my fiancée," he kissed her again, "before it becomes me, my wife and our kid."_

_Brooke smiled and turn to face him, nails raking down his skin as she pressed her lips to his and moaned into him, him moaning into her as well. Dean's breath caught in his throat as Brooke decided to focus her attention on his neck and she started to do all sorts of things to him that he liked. It was just part of their attraction and more than anything, Brooke and Dean were happy—they were the happiest they had ever been and things could only get better._

Dean walked into Brooke's hospital room, startling his wife and suddenly realizing the severity of what was really going on. She had been changing into the clothes that he had brought her and of course she had gone and pulled the shirt to her chest so he couldn't see anything. He'd seen it all before, but Brooke couldn't remember any of that and that made his smile a very sad one, Jamie coming behind him as Brooke quickly put her shirt on.

"I've seen it," Dean said slowly.

Brooke nodded slowly. "Yeah…well, for now that changes."

"Hey, Momma," Jamie told her softly.

The sad smile that spread across the face was now the smile that spread across Brooke's face as her son looked up at her. She waved a little bit and then motioned to the hospital bed, gingerly reaching out to tousle the young boy's hair. He was looking up at her like he was expecting something she couldn't give him and she opened up her mouth to talk to him.

"Just because I can't remember, doesn't mean I'm not trying," Brooke told Jamie softly. "Do you think that you can be patient with me when we get home?"

Jamie nodded slowly. "Yes, Momma."

"So how old are you, Jamie?" Brooke asked him, sitting down next to him.

"I'm 6."

"I have a lot of catching up to do then."

"That's alright, we have all the time in the world." Dean assured them both as he watched with great happiness, Brooke being affectionate with Jamie and even hugging him.

For Brooke this was weird and new, but she was trying because this was her son—her flesh and blood—and she wanted him to still feel at least like she cared. She wanted to make Jamie feel better about this really crappy decision, but she knew that there was no way for her to do that. At least this way she could act like a mother and Jamie would at least have some sort of something to hold on to right now since this was also very difficult for him.

"_I think he loves you more than me," Dean teased as he and Brooke made it up the stairs to tuck 4 year old Jamie into bed. "He still cries for __**you**__ when he gets hurt or scared."_

_Brooke smiled a little bit. "I think that's normal for kids, Dean—they want their mother. He's a boy, and he'll grow out of it. Besides, he still wants to emulate you."_

"_He's a boy and I'm his dad." Dean said with a shrug. "That's normal."_

"_Then we both agree that our son is normal," Brooke teased s she kissed her husband's lips loving, her hand on her seventh month pregnant stomach._

_She was rather large because she was pregnant with the twins and yet again, Dean Winchester was getting boys. Brooke had kind of wanted a little girl, but she thought that sons were in the cards for Dean and since she loved him so much, that was what he was going to get and she was being incredibly careful. All of her research had made her paranoid and the last thing she wanted was to miscarry or anything like that…and it was easier to do with boys._

"_What kind of story do you want tonight, Jimmy Jam?" Brooke asked as she came into the room and sat on the side of his bed, Dean having followed her in._

_Jamie beamed at his mother. "A funny story, from you."_

"_What did I tell you?" Dean asked with a laugh, pointing out that Jamie just wanted his mother._

"_Funny story about your father it is then," Brooke said with a smile on her face as she kissed her son's forehead._

What was even weirder for Brooke was the drive home because she had honestly been expecting to see the twins. From what Dean had been telling her in the car, they were 23 months old and they were a pretty good mix of him and her already certainly. Jamie had been wanting a brother and he had gotten two, and honestly couldn't wait until they were old enough to play catch with in the yard—even though right now he really enjoyed it just being him and his dad tossing around the football.

"So…they're at the house?" Brooke asked slowly.

Jamie nodded and piped up from his car seat. "They're with Aunt Haley and Uncle Sammy. They wanted to make sure that the house was tidy for you."

"They didn't have to do that." Brooke said, and then looked at Dean from the passenger seat. "Sam's your little brother and Haley's friend from Stanford, right?"

"Right…but it's a little more complicated than that." Dean admitted with a nod. "They're also married. They got engaged when we were on our honeymoon."

"Oh!" Brooke exclaimed as she nodded. "Do they have kids too?"

"Two girls," Dean responded with a nod. "Mary and Lydia."

"After their mothers…"

"Exactly."

Brooke nodded and gave a small smile, looking back out the window as they drove along the road toward the house she'd never seen before. She would be lying if she wasn't feeling kind of awkward, especially because it was setting in that she was going to have to share a bed with a perfect stranger—husband or no husband. The idea of sleeping with him had crossed her mind and not because that was something that she wanted to do, but because she knew that sooner or later he might want to do that.

Besides, the doctor had said in not quite those words that it would help.

See, the doctor wanted Brooke to go into her old routine and wanted her to make sure that she paid attention to 'triggers': smells, sounds, sights, feelings. It meant that sooner or later if she wanted to remember more intimate things about her and Dean, then she would have to have sex with him and she just didn't know him. Still, she could cross that bridge when she came to it and right now she needed to just focus on going into the house.

When they got into the driveway, Brooke got out of the car slowly as Jamie and Dean got out and headed to the door, smiling a bit at Sam and Haley as they came to greet her when she came through the door. The house was really nice on the outside and so was the inside and Brooke realized that she had done quite well for herself and it made her smile. Then she saw the babies and she went over towards them, tucking her hair behind her ears.

"They are the most adorable kids," Brooke cooed with a nod. "Next to Jamie, of course. We definitely did good, Dean—I agree with you there."

Dean smiled at that and nodded. "Yeah…yeah, we did. How about a tour of the house?"


	6. Trying

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**I missed this story, so here I am updating it.**

**Dedicated to princessjames21 who has been waiting for the update for a while.**

**WARNINGS: Language, Blood, Sex, Dark Themes**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

Brooke was feeling a bit overwhelmed as Dean took her around the house and she was trying so hard to remember, but she just couldn't. She'd get a sense or two about how she had liked a room, or she felt comfortable in one, but she just couldn't put together solid memories—everything was blurry. More than anything, Brooke just wanted to remember because this was her family and her boys needing their mother…she had to figure this out.

"I wish I could help you," Dean said slowly, noting the look in her eyes. "This is overwhelming, I shouldn't have—"

"—no, no," Brooke assured him, shaking her head. "No, it was good you showed me. I can't promise that I can find my way around the kitchen though."

Dean chuckled a bit. "That would be normal then…that was something that we both learned when we found out we were having Jamie, but neither of us is the best at it. We improvise…"

"Take out?" Brooke laughed a little.

"Something like that," he replied with a smile on his face. "I've missed your laugh."

The compliment brought a blush to her face and the first thought on Dean's mind was to kiss her and make a playful comment, but he couldn't—she didn't remember. Everything about this situation had to be handled carefully and he couldn't screw this up, for fear of making things worse than they already were. She was overwhelmed enough and he had to keep her calm and collected…but a baby cried and she got this look on her face.

"I should try," she told him, leaving the room.

Mostly, Brooke had been watching her husband with a curiosity, wondering how she had gotten so incredibly lucky in love. Love had always thwarted her in the past and now she had a gorgeous husband and three perfect little boys and she wanted to remember it all because she was lucky—she was so lucky. She smiled a little at that as she went into the living room, motioning for Haley to hand over her son and Haley nodded slowly.

She thought that maybe a miracle would happen and Brooke would suddenly remember, and while there were no specific memories, Brooke looked at the little baby in her hands and she held him to her like the perfect mother, patting his back and humming a little bit as he snuggled her and cried. He was practically two and he just wanted his mother and here she was, doing a pat and rub combo on his back and humming one of her favorite songs—on of Johnny's favorite songs.

"Something tells me that motherhood is just like riding a bike," Haley said happily, beaming at Brooke as she cooed at Johnny and rocked him.

Brooke was practically grinning from ear to ear as she looked at her kid. "I am just…wow…"

"Johnny's a Momma's Boy, just like Jamie," Dean said with a nod. "Bobby seems to be the only one in the family that really loves me…"

"Obviously I do or we wouldn't have three kids," Brooke found herself saying.

That whole sentence made Dean's heart practically leap out of his chest, as for a moment it was like his Brooke was standing there in front of him. The way she held their son, the way she calmed him down…Dean felt like his wife was back. In fact for the next little bit Brooke just wanted Sam and Haley to tell her stories about them and how they'd met and how she and Sam became such close friends and then they had dinner and Sam and Haley left.

Brooke had tried to pretend that everything was fine, but she was feeling out of place and she was feeling awkward and Dean didn't know what to do. All he knew was that it was time for bed and after getting the kids down, Brooke was doubly exhausted—it had been a trying day for her. She walked into the bedroom as Dean was pulling on a fresh pair of boxers, catching him naked and standing there a moment. He now had the boxers on, but she'd seen it all.

Dean wasn't even bothered.

The thing about this Brooke of his now was that she wasn't exactly as forward with him as she had been when they had met. Instead she was cautious and he assumed it was because she was in that space where she knew they were so intimate and they just weren't that anymore. She was worried about getting that close and he got that, but he wanted her to remember because he wanted to hold her that night and let her know that everything would be fine.

"Wow…" was all that Brooke managed to say.

She couldn't help letting her eyes wander along her husband's frame, trying not to stare, but he was just so perfectly shaped. He was athletic, and she realized that she hadn't asked him what it was that he did, but he was certainly fit and she was blushing. Brooke couldn't believe for a moment that she was married to this man, but it seemed like everything in her life had really started looking up for her, and her life seemed really nice.

"I just came in to see what I have to change into," she said, Dean smiling and pulling on his shirt. "Carry on. The doctor did say that no one should change their daily routines and I'm sure I've gotten to watch you change before."

Dean nodded at that. "Many a time…"

_Brooke giggled as she watched Dean take off his button up, wiggling her eyebrows at him. The twins were sleeping and Jamie was at school, so Brooke and Dean were taking advantage of a lunch break in the house and she just wanted her husband naked—so, very naked. Sitting up more in the bed she took her shirt off and tossed it onto the floor, Dean pulling his t-shirt off over his head too and then crashing his lips into his wife's._

"_No, you don't get to do that," Brooke said, pushing on his naked torso. "I said you had to undress…"_

_Dean smirked and bit her bottom lip, making her moan. "I'd rather you undress me…"_

"_I'm surprised you haven't gotten tired of me yet, Winchester," Brooke teased, kissing him passionately as she got his belt off expertly. "Now…stand up and take your pants off. Only then will you get the bra off and get to do what you want."_

"_You're such a slave driver, Davis," Dean said winking, grinning to himself and then making a show of taking off his pants for his beautiful wife._

_They had never lost their playfulness—every year that passed had just bonded them more and more and now they had three kids. It was nice to know that they still turned each other on and Brooke had lost her baby weight and they just enjoyed the other's company. They were even more in love than they had been the first time that they had met, and they that this was how it was supposed to be—they were perfect._

"You know…" Brooke said slowly as she tried to find the right drawer in the dresser. "I feel really bad that I don't remember."

Dean nodded and shrugged a bit. "It's really not your fault, Brooke."

"I know, but I just feel really bad about it," Brooke admitted as she continued.

Noticing that she wasn't finding the drawer, Dean walked up behind her and put his arms on either side of her, pulling out the fourth drawer down of the six drawer wardrobe. Brooke blushed feverishly because she wasn't used to having him this close to her and just thanked him, randomly grabbing a pajama set. She turned and realized that his face was inches from hers and it made her study his face and his eyes a little more.

Brooke couldn't believe he was this close and she wished that she remembered him because she was sure that a kiss would make him feel better. Since he was trying though, she thought that maybe a kiss wouldn't be so bad because she really was thankful…and they were married. So she slowly moved in a little, Dean pulling back, their faces still inches apart.

"What…?"

"Just hold still a moment…"

She gently pressed her lips to his, kissing him for a moment and letting the feel of his lips register in her mind a moment. They were warm and a little chapped, but even just the brief kiss was perfect, his hand slipping up to cup her face and draw her in closer. Brooke pulled back though and they made eye contact, Brooke feeling that spark between them even though there was no barrage of memories with the touch…but she enjoyed it.

"Thank you for toughing this out," Brooke told him.

Dean smiled and nodded, kissing her forehead. "Of course I'm toughing it out, Brooke—I love you. I'm going to be here this whole time, helping you to remember our life together."

"We're not supposed to change the routine, so…"

"Baby, we don't have to share a bed. I'm perfectly okay sleeping on the couch…"

"I appreciate that."

"It's easy to set up."

"I don't want to kick you out of your room."

To be honest, as awkward as Brooke felt in this house, she wanted the people around her to feel comfortable because they'd been in her life these last ten years. She and Dean had fallen in love, gotten married, had some kids, and now she couldn't remember anything and it was painful for everyone—especially for them. So Brooke wanted everyone to feel comfortable and she also felt like she deserved to be held right now.

This was a trying ordeal for her too.

She had been in a car accident and now she was missing her memory and she just wanted someone to hold her close and comfort her. Since she and Dean were married and he wanted to be that close, she was going to let him and see if anything came back because the more she looked around, the more she _wanted_ to remember. Brooke wanted to make sure that everyone got back what they were missing and she wanted to remember her kids—having them, raising them…making them.

"Just hold me…it's my only request," Brooke said gently.

Dean nodded slowly, a smile on his face. "I really don't want anything more."

Smiling, Brooke nodded and then went into the bathroom to change, coming out in the short, satin nightgown, Dean smiling at her. She went to turn off the light, sliding into the bed with him and snuggling up against him, reveling in his warmth as he realized just how much _he_ needed to hold his wife to him. He had been so worried that she was going to die on him and while she couldn't remember anything, just holding her and stroking her hair made him feel better…she was alive, and he was going to do everything in his power to make her remember.

**Note: There's chapter four! Next chapter is angsty with the beginning of some sexual tension. It also has a lot of Brooke with the kids. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	7. Secrets and Wants

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**This chapter is dedicated to princessjames21, because it is her birthday tomorrow and I know how much she loves this story. I want to start off her updates with angst. Happy birthday tomorrow, Sweetheart!**

**WARNINGS: Language, Blood, Sex, Dark Themes**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

"_MOMMA, LOOK OUT!" Jamie cried suddenly._

_Brooke had been watching where she was driving, but a car had some out of nowhere in the rain storm and she didn't know what to do. Acting on instinct, she swerved to avoid the car, but it was in her lane of traffic and swerving made the wheels take on some water and the car spun out of control. Jamie was screaming a bit as the car turned over on its side, rolling off of the bridge and into the water of the dam in Tree Hill. This bridge had seen plenty a car accident, but Brooke had never once been in this place before…and now it was her and her son._

"_Jamie! Hey, honey. Are you okay?" Brooke asked him, feeling pain shooting through her leg, but she was more concerned about his well-being over her own._

_Jamie nodded even though he was stuck too. "Yeah, Mom. I'm not hurt."_

_For a moment Brooke felt relieved, but she knew that the car was starting to sink and she was so panicked right now. So instead, she grabbed out a pocket knife and she started to try and cut herself free so she could get to Jamie, handing it to him to let him try. All that mattered to her was her son as she heard the water rushing in and something told her that the two of them might not make it out alive but if one of them did…it was going to be James Samuel Davis-Winchester._

Brooke woke up with a start, still hearing the shattering glass and the crunching sound of metal as the car rolled and one thing was for certain: the accident was in there in her mind. It was still kind of blurry, but at least she knew one thing, and that was that Jamie was her son and the accident didn't seem to be her fault. Still, the images hadn't been very clear and as Brooke wiped the beads of sweat from her brow, she looked over at Dean, who was sleeping, but he stirred a little. Somehow, he knew that Brooke was distressed and that made her smile a little bit, but because she didn't want to wake him, she got up and went out of the room, closing the door behind her swiftly and quietly.

Because it was almost instinct, Brooke tiptoed to the nursery to check on the twins, smiling at her baby boys and wishing that she remembered anything about them. All she knew was that they looked like a good mix of her and Dean and so did Jamie, even though he looked so much like Dean. She smiled sadly because all she wanted to do was remember, and then went to check on Jamie, who was sleeping as well but a little fitfully, she was sure of. Knowing that it might make him feel better, she laid down next to him and snuggled him, stroking his hair until he was sleeping calmer.

"It's okay, honey…I'm here," Brooke promised him as she kissed his temple. "I'm going to try my hardest to remember, just for you."

Nodding at that, Brooke rolled off of his bed and moved out of his room, going downstairs and wandering around a little until she found a study. Some of what was in the study looked weird to her, but she was more interested in the photo albums and grabbed them, taking them out to the couch and putting a blanket over her bare legs as she opened them up. There were pictures of her and Haley in them, Sam and Dean, her and Dean, Dean and the kids, her and the kids…it summed up a lot of the doubts in her head, but it still wasn't flooding back and that brought tears to her eyes.

She was trying so hard to remember hers and Dean's life together and everyone looked so happy in the pictures and her nieces were the cutest things. Brooke ran her fingers over the pictures and then looked up when she heard a creak on the stairs, smiling sadly at Dean and wiping tears away. Dean was to her in a heartbeat and she just let him wrap his arms around her, his thumb wiping away her tears as he kissed the top of her head and nuzzled her. She started crying and he didn't know how to help her., Jamie getting up from his room and coming down to sit on the stairs.

"Baby…what's wrong?" Dean asked her, kissing her temple.

Brooke motioned to the photo albums. "It's all here, but I just can't remember. I see all of these memories that we've put together and it's all here, but I just don't _remember_ them. What if I never do? What if I'm stuck like this?"

"You don't have to remember, right now," Dean told her, kissing her cheek and frowning as she nodded. "Hey, you don't. We can take our time and you'll remember. If you don't, we deal with that when it happens. Is that okay?"

"I don't deserve you," Brooke whispered as she buried her face in his chest, reveling in the feel of his fingers gliding through her hair.

Jamie frowned a little bit because he knew that his mother was sad, but he didn't understand why she could forget it all but he couldn't. He could remember everything about that night and because of it, he was a little afraid of cars at the moment and he just…he wanted his mother back. When Jamie was scared in the past, Brooke knew just how to make him feel better about it all but not right now—in fact right now all he could think about was the accident.

"_I don't like this song, Momma," Jamie told his mother with his nose all scrunched up._

_Brooke laughed a little bit. "How can you not? This is a classic—your father is going to think he isn't your father if you hate this song."_

"_It's just not what I want to hear…" Jamie continued, looking out at the rain pounding down._

_The day had started off beautiful enough, but right now the rain was pouring down and Jamie liked the way that the droplets slammed against the windows. He liked to watch the rain drops slide down the glass and practically race each other to the part of the window that connected to the car, all becoming one little stream of water that kept sliding down the outside of the door. What bothered him on nights like this was the cars trying to hurry home, sounding louder and faster as they whooshed past their car and Brooke felt uneasy too, especially when a reckless driver came into their lane, brights on._

"_MOMMA, LOOK OUT!" Jamie cried suddenly._

_Brooke had been watching where she was driving, but a car had some out of nowhere in the rain storm and Jamie felt his heart pounding away in his chest. Acting on instinct, Brooke swerved to avoid the car, but it was in her lane of traffic and swerving made the wheels take on some water and the car spun out of control. Jamie was screaming a bit as the car turned over on its side, rolling off of the bridge and into the water of the dam in Tree Hill. This bridge had seen plenty a car accident, but Brooke had never once been in this place before…and now it was her and her son._

"_Jamie! Hey, honey. Are you okay?" Brooke asked him, feeling pain shooting through her leg, but she was more concerned about his well-being over her own._

_Jamie nodded even though he was stuck too and he was freaking out. "Yeah, Mom. I'm not hurt."_

It had been one of the scariest moments of Jamie's life, and he got up and went back to bed after watching his father comfort his mother a little bit. He crawled back into bed and then he snuggled into his covers, going to sleep as Dean picked Brooke up in his arms and carried her to their bed. She let him hold her close and she nuzzled his chest through his shirt with her nose and she realized that she found the contours of his muscles comforting and her whole body felt close to his.

Brooke could feel how his body cradled hers and paid close attention to the feel of every piece of him against her and shuddered pleasantly. It might have been the fact that she felt so vulnerable and she wanted so desperately to remember him but she just couldn't. So right now she knew that she had to just let it happen and get some sleep because tomorrow was going to be a really hard day of trying to piece together the life that seemed so lost to her. What she didn't realize, was that Dean was feeling a bit happy too…and not in the conventional way…

xx

The next morning, Brooke got up early and she went to see the twins, getting them both to the bathroom, dressed and downstairs, surprised they were already potty trained, but thankful. She hadn't wanted to change any diapers and as she got them their sippy cups out of the fridge and then found some toaster waffles in the freezer. Brooke certainly knew how to take something frozen and turn it into somewhat of a gourmet meal and she knew how to cook a couple of things…plus she hoped that being in the kitchen would make her remember the other few recipes she had no doubt accumulated upon becoming a mother.

"There is so much healthy food in here," Brooke said as she looked at the twins in their high chairs. "You are two incredibly well dressed little men…looks like my stitching too."

Jamie smiled as he came into the kitchen. "It is—you designed all of our clothes. Mine, their, yours, Daddy's. Your shop is thriving."

"Waffles," Johnny said happily.

"Can they eat those?" Brooke asked Jamie slowly.

"Yeah, the plain ones—the chocolate chip ones are for you, me and Daddy," Jamie piped up, setting the table for his mother. "Today is your day to set the table, but I'll pick it up today."

Brooke smiled and nodded. "You're a good kid, Jimmy-Jam."

Jamie knew it was too much to ask for that his mother had remembered her nickname for him, but he knew it was a sign that she was in there somewhere. So he just smiled and looked up as Dean came down the stairs all dressed and Brooke remembered that she still had yet to ask Dean what it was that he did for a living, but now she didn't have to ask. He was wearing a policeman's uniform and she had to admit that the sight of him was quite the turn on—Dean Winchester in a uniform…damn.

"So…I married a cop?" Brooke asked him.

Dean chuckled a bit. "I, uh…I'm a detective actually."

"Wow…" Brooke said, looking him over and nodding approvingly. "I did well for myself."

She wiggled her eyebrows involuntarily, Dean chuckling and Jamie rolling his eyes at his parents like the olden days, not understanding what Dean knew. He had always thought his Dad was a detective and that his Uncle Sam was a lawyer, but Haley and Brooke had known that they had been hunters until they had been faced with settling down. Then they had to pull a bunch of strings and hack into the FED database and change some things around and they settled into their comfort zones. Sam was doing what he had always wanted to do and Dean was still solving crimes and booking bad guys and together, he and Sam were keeping dirtbags off the streets as Sam helped to sentence them.

"I'd like to think that you're both pretty cool," Jamie said with a grin as he sat down and Brooke got them all pancakes.

"How about some eggs too?" Dean asked, Jamie nodded happily.

"Eggies!" Baby Bobby exclaimed.

Dean smiled at his middle son. "Yeah…he knows the real word, he just likes that one better."

"All three of our sons are simply…adorable," Brooke admitted with a nod, trailing off when she turned to see Dean right there.

He had been reaching past her to grab a bowl to put the eggs in and they were right there, Brooke breathing in his scent and smiling at him. She was blushing furiously, but having him that close made her realize that even without her thoughts, she was attracted to her husband and he just smiled at her because her face showed him that she was. All he wanted was for her to remember him and all that they had shared, but right now it was enough to have his wife look at him with a look that he had seen cross her face before.

"Waffles…?" Jamie asked, ruining his parents' intense eye contact.

Brooke nodded at that. "Right…waffles."

She gave him his waffles and then sat down with him, Dean making them all eggs—the kids too. Then he took Jamie to school and Brooke played with the twins, who were certainly a handful, but she expected them to be because they took after her and Dean seemed to have energy too. After a bit, since Dean was at work (though he called to check in with her a few times and she assured him that she was doing just fine) Brooke realized that the boys were getting cranky and put them down for a nap, thinking that she was going to get to have some down time but instead she looked up ten minutes into the silence and Dean came home.

"Lunch?" Brooke asked him, standing up suddenly and putting her hands up to her mouth. "I bet I'm supposed to have lunch ready…right?"

Dean smiled and crossed over to her, taking her hands in his. "No, no—it's alright, Baby. I don't expect you to know anything right now about the schedule."

"You could write it down for me until I get back into the swing of things…" Brooke suggested with a gentle shrug.

"Yeah…though I admit that we don't normally eat that much on my lunch breaks. Today we will, but we…" Dean trailed off though.

Brooke's cheeks got red. "Oh…lunch sex. Hey, it makes sense."

"But, we're not going to for a while," Dean promised, going into the kitchen to make himself some food.

Following him slowly as she thought it over, Brooke leaned on the doorframe and she looked Dean over because she knew that sooner or later it would come to that. The doctor hadn't wanted the routine to change and she knew that eventually she was going to have to have sex with him because the sensations might bring some memories back. Brooke just wanted to know him a little better first even though she knew that sometime, she and Dean Winchester were going to have sex and that thought wasn't as scary to her as it had been before—her husband was an incredibly sweet, caring, attractive, sexy man…why should it scare her?

"Eventually we will though," Brooke told him with a nod. "The doctor said the sensations would help and I know that sex was part of that equation."

Dean turned to her. "Are you sure?"

"Yes…just not today," Brooke responded quickly.

"No, I know, not today…" Dean said, turning to look back at the stove because even though he wanted to back off and let her remember, she was far too beautiful today and part of him really wanted to.

Hell, part of Brooke wanted to as well, but instead, they were just going to have some lunch.

**Note: There you have it! Too attractive people, both married, a bit turned on by each other…but there's that little memory issue. What could possibly happen next? Who hit Brooke? Will Jamie tell anyone about his nightmares? Feedback is always appreciated!**


	8. Toughing it Out

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**There is some UST and family stuff in this one, as well as some Sam/Dean bonding to figure out what hit Jamie and Brooke. There is also some Baley/Kids that I enjoyed writing **_**so**_** much.**

**WARNINGS: Language, Blood, Sex, Dark Themes**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

Brooke was rather distracted that day after she had gotten up that morning and gone straight into the bathroom to take care of nature's call. What she hadn't expected was to see Dean standing there with a towel around his bottom half, wet and very naked under that towel. It was like the water was just glistening off of his body and he had been towel drying his hair when she had walked in and stopped. She hadn't even stopped and gotten all blushy and cute like she'd been since she had been home, no…Dean recognized that look in her eyes.

_Want_.

It had made him smile a cheeky smile, which only made Brooke snap to attention and then send him out so that she could pee. He had smiled and nodded and gone to get dressed, Brooke peeking at him through the crack of the door and Dean knew that her eyes were on him and it made him feel pretty good about himself because his wife wanted him even though she didn't remember. Dean was determined to help her with that and had even called Bobby to see if there was a spell or something that they could cast to help to hurry this process along.

Now, however, Brooke was with Haley and the kids, having dropped Jamie and Lydia off at school already and were in the closed café. While Brooke had her own clothing line and she made her family their clothes, she and Haley also had remade Karen's Café and it was a really nice feeling to feel so at home in one place. They were closed because Haley wanted to focus on getting the next day figured out and on Brooke, Mary, Johnny and baby Bobby playing with some blocks. Mary was a natural leader and liked to boss the twins around and Brooke and Haley laughed a bit at it.

"So…anything really coming back?" Haley asked Brooke as she was going over a menu.

Brooke shook her head slowly. "Other than some lust for my husband…not really?"

"You know, maybe if you actually slept with Dean, something would come back—familiar feelings and all that," Haley suggested, laughing a little when Brooke turned to look at her and gave her a look. "I'm just saying that the doctor said that it was important to try to remember and get back into old routines and you two are like bunnies. You always have been and eventually you always will be."

"I just feel like it's not fair," Brooke admitted with a shrug. "I mean it's not like I don't want to see what sex with him is like, but I'm more interested in our love story, you know? How it began, how it blossomed…I want _those _feelings. All of them. I want to remember."

Haley smiled and nodded at her best friend. "Well then, Brooke, you're going to have to be a little more pro-active about trying to remember if that is what you really want. Also, you should talk to Jamie because this happened to him too, only he can remember…"

"I do worry about him—he's having nightmares," Brooke said sadly. "I'll pick him up from school today and focus on him to let him know that I'm here and I love him. I mean…how can I not love these guys already? Also, why didn't I get a girl too? Does Dean just shoot Y's?"

Haley laughed loudly. "Seems so, but that's okay because all Sam has is X's apparently."

"Together I guess it's like five kids anyway, right?" Brooke asked smiling at them. "It's really nice."

"You got everything you ever wanted," Haley told her nodding, smiling at Mary.

"Yeah…seems like it…" Brooke said slowly.

xx

"It sucks she still isn't remembering anything—you guys back in your old routine yet?" Sam asked Dean.

The two had a bunch of books out to research, Sam on his laptop like the olden days that they had left behind. They were family men now even though every now and again they had to hunt something to keep their families safe, but they were 'normal' men now with normal jobs and they felt really good about where they were. Still, there was something fishy about this accident and they wanted to know why and they wanted to know how demonic it was…_if _it was demonic at all.

"Not yet, but I have a lot of faith in my wife," Dean admitted with a small nod, flipping through a spell book. "Besides, part of our routine is sex and we are just not there yet."

Sam nodded slowly, chuckling. "You two do kind of go at it like wild animals. I remember when you'd kick Hales and I out of the motel room just to screw each other's brains out for a couple hours."

"Those were good days," Dean admitted beaming, but the smile faded a little bit. "Those days will be back eventually though…she'll remember."

"I know, Dean," Sam told his brother, trying to be optimistic. "In the mean time, maybe you should try being overly romantic."

"Yes, because _that's _normal," Dean responded rolling his eyes.

Sam laughed and rolled his eyes too. "You've been sappy and overly romantic before with Brooke—quite a few times, actually. I mean like…re-create how you met. Re-create your first date—those kinds of things. Show her how you fell in love and maybe she'll fall in love all over again and it'll trigger something."

Even though Sam shrugged because it was just an idea, Dean smiled a little bit at that because it gave him a bit of hope here. Maybe Sam was right, and maybe getting Brooke to fall in love with him all over again would help her to remember all of it for herself. He hadn't even sat down and thought about what it would be like if she _didn't _remember, because for him, her not remembering was just not an option at all. If it was the last thing that Dean Winchester did, it was going to be making sure that his wife remembered every single thing that they had ever gone through, the good and the bad.

"Would you and Haley be willing to babysit a bit this week?" Dean asked Sam slowly.

Sam grinned and nodded. "Of course we would—Haley's always wondering what it would be like to have a little boy and you know we love our nephews. Besides, we _all _want Brooke to remember. Maybe at some point Haley and I can try the same thing with her…I miss being one of her best friends."

"Yeah, I know you do, Sammy," Dean told his little brother, resting his hand on his shoulder and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "I know she misses you too, even if she doesn't know it yet."

xx

Getting Jamie from school, Brooke was feeling like something was amiss and she really didn't know what, but her gut was screaming at her. She hadn't ended up at home, just hung out with Haley and the kids and now she was on the playground with the double stroller, waiting for the bell to ring. Then a couple of mothers came walking her direction and Brooke froze because she honestly didn't remember them and she didn't want to have that awkward conversation with them. Still, they were headed straight for her and she had to throw a smile onto her face as baby Bobby chewed on his teething ring and Johnny read his cardboard book…well, looked at the pictures and whispered the colors to himself.

"Brooke!" The Asian exclaimed, pulling Brooke into an embrace. "We heard about the accident and we just wanted you to know that we're glad that you're alright!"

The brunette nodded vigorously. "Yes! Well, sans the memory loss of course."

"Oh! Right!" The first exclaimed, shaking her head. "I'm Theresa and this is Shannon."

"My daughter, Susan, is one of Jamie's best friends," Shannon explained with a small nod. "I think she has a bit of a crush on him—she talks about him constantly."

Brooke smiled at that. "Well, that's my little man."

"My son, Derek, is Jamie's best friend. They actually have a play date Thursday afternoon but if you don't think that—" Theresa was saying.

"—no, no. That's good. Jamie needs a good play date," Brooke said with a grin. "Besides, I'm supposed to get back into my normal routine. Perhaps we can all make an evening out of it?"

"Us plus Haley and Lydia? Susan and Lydia play a lot together and I think it would be good for you to have Haley there too, just in case you start to feel like we're smothering you," Shannon said with a smile on her face. "We really have missed you though."

Brooke smiled at them and thanked them, looking towards the doors when the bell sounded, meaning that the kids were done. Her whole face lit up when she saw Jamie, him hurrying away from Derek, Lydia and Susan to hug his mother tightly, glad that she was there. Everyone let Jamie and Brooke have their moment and then after saying 'goodbye' to everyone, Brooke took Jamie to go and get some food at the Café before they went home. It was just them and Brooke was cooking in the kitchen from memory, glad she was at least picking up a little bit—it was a start and a good sign.

"Something tells me that you're a green bean kind of man," Brooke told Jamie slowly. "Am I right?"

Jamie beamed. "Yeah! Bobby and Johnny like peas best though."

"Well, then I can work with that," she smiled at them and cooked away, all of them eating a bit when it was served and then Brooke smiled sadly.

Her eldest son just looked so upset and worried and so she had him sit on her lap and stroked his hair with her fingers kissing his temple. He was so glad to have her there and she squeezed his eyes shut as he held onto her, Brooke knowing that this was traumatic for him and all she wanted to do was make it better because he'd never forget. How was that fair? Why was it that she could forget the whole thing but that Jamie was going to be burdened with this his entire life?

"_I don't like this song, Momma," Jamie told his mother with his nose all scrunched up._

_Brooke laughed a little bit. "How can you not? This is a classic—your father is going to think he isn't your father if you hate this song."_

"_It's just not what I want to hear…" Jamie continued, looking out at the rain pounding down._

_The day had started off beautiful enough, but right now the rain was pouring down and Jamie liked the way that the droplets slammed against the windows. He liked to watch the rain drops slide down the glass and practically race each other to the part of the window that connected to the car, all becoming one little stream of water that kept sliding down the outside of the door. What bothered him on nights like this was the cars trying to hurry home, sounding louder and faster as they whooshed past their car and Brooke felt uneasy too, especially when a reckless driver came into their lane, brights on._

"_MOMMA, LOOK OUT!" Jamie cried suddenly._

_Brooke had been watching where she was driving, but a car had some out of nowhere in the rain storm and Jamie felt his heart pounding away in his chest. Acting on instinct, Brooke swerved to avoid the car, but it was in her lane of traffic and swerving made the wheels take on some water and the car spun out of control. Jamie was screaming a bit as the car turned over on its side, rolling off of the bridge and into the water of the dam in Tree Hill. This bridge had seen plenty a car accident, but Brooke had never once been in this place before…and now it was her and her son._

"_Jamie! Hey, honey. Are you okay?" Brooke asked him, feeling pain shooting through her leg, but she was more concerned about his well-being over her own._

_Jamie nodded even though he was stuck too and he was freaking out. "Yeah, Mom. I'm not hurt."_

Brooke just held her son as the other two ate, Jamie burying his face in his mother's neck and feeing safe in her arms regardless. It didn't matter to him right that moment that she couldn't remember, because all that he needed was his mother and he felt pretty lucky because at least she hadn't died and left him. He still had her and he would always have her, so he had to make the most of it.

"Someday I'll remember, Jimmy-Jam," Brooke whispered, kissing his head. "I promise…"

Jamie shook his head. "I don't want you to…"

"What? Why not, Buddy?"

"I don't want you to remember the accident."

xx

"I'm worried about Jamie," Brooke told Dean that night as she climbed into their bed.

Dean nodded as he pulled his shirt off, Brooke pausing and watching him, her breath caught in her throat. He smiled a little at his wife's reaction, but this was about Jamie and so he had to focus on his son and not on the want pooling in his stomach for his wife. In fact it had been incredibly hard for him not to try to make a pass at her at all, but the playful flirting was at least still intact so he had to hold out for just a little while longer and do what Sam suggested: re-create their story for her.

"He's having a rough time with it all," Dean admitted, pushing his jeans off, just standing there in his boxers.

Brooke swallowed as her eyes raked over her husband's form. "He wants me to remember everything except for the accident. I think that we should let him see a therapist."

"If he wants to," Dean agreed slowly. "It might help to talk to someone not involved about it."

"You don't have to pull a shirt on…" Brooke said suddenly.

Dean had been grabbing a t-shirt to pull on to wear to bed, caught off guard by Brooke's statement—she was a little caught off guard by herself as well. She honestly hadn't been expecting to say it, but she kind of wanted her husband to crawl into bed just the way he was and let her run her hands along him. Besides, they were married and she wanted to act more like a wife and not a stranger in their home, whether she had her memories back or not.

"Are you sure…?" Dean asked her slowly.

Brooke nodded, and so Dean nodded too and turned off the light, climbing into bed with her and smiling as she snuggled into him. He wrapped his arms around her and let out a sigh of content as she traced shapes along his chest, but he was feeling turned on when he felt her breath on his chest, her nose suddenly running along it. God…what was she doing? Just like that, before he knew it, Brooke was kissing him passionately and he was a goner.

She may not have remembered their relationship, but she certainly remembered sex and let her hand run down to his boxers, rubbing at him. He moaned into her mouth and his fingers went into her hair, both of them feeling want and need pool into the pit of their stomachs. Brooke even managed to find her way on top of him, tugging at his bottom lip with her teeth and gently pressing herself against him, but suddenly…suddenly Dean shook his head and picked her up, setting her on the bed and getting out of it. He didn't feel like this was how it should happen even though he was definitely half hard and he sincerely _wanted_ to continue and sleep with his wife.

"No, no," Dean said gently, kissing her forehead. "I have a whole plan to re-create everything first. I'm trying to be romantic and give you your space and I just…we'll get to this. I need to go sleep on the couch and respect you."

Brooke nodded slowly as he went for the door. "Yeah…okay…"

They were both breathing heavily and Dean pulled his shirt on and went to sleep on the couch, Brooke running her fingers through her hair. Just remembering what he had felt like underneath her between her legs was making her feel all hot and bothered and that meant that a good night's sleep she was just _not_ going to have. She smiled a little though because Dean wanted to re-create their story for her and she decided that she would let him do it. It was just one more example of how perfect he really was.

**Note: I wonder how long Dean can resist her…and her him…still, there's a lot of fluff mixed with angst to come! You get to learn about their past and see Dean being all romantic—and poor Jamie. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	9. Cracking the Wall

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Dedicated to princessjames21—I adore her and she keeps me on my toes.**

**This chapter has a lot of fluff and UST in it, so I hope you guys enjoy it!**

**WARNINGS: Language, Blood, Sex, Dark Themes**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

Brooke was actually just as nervous as she was excited to be going on a date with Dean tonight. He had told her to dress like she would have ten years ago to go out to a bar with Haley and it made Brooke smile a bit because this was it: the first time they'd met. Haley had glossed over it already and Brooke was more than willing to go through with this because it was important to Dean and what was important to him was important to her.

They were married.

That, and Brooke was also starting to really like this life that was laid out before her and she wanted it back and whole. She wanted to be able to help Jamie through it and be the best wife and mother that she could be and for that she needed her memories to come back, so she had to be willing to try anything and this…this was romantic. Brooke didn't know a lot about Dean other than what he'd told her and what Sam and Haley had been filling in for her, but this romantic streak of hers she could more than easily get used to.

He had a habit of always putting everyone else before himself and she thought that that was an admirable quality. Not to mention he was a good friends with her biological father that Brooke did actually remember and she was kind of happy to give him this shot to make her fall in love with him all over again. How could she not? On paper, Dean was her ideal match and she couldn't wait for him to prove her right tonight, so she dolled herself up just for him with some lingerie as well just in case the night took them there.

Sex…

While Dean was still trying to wait in that department because he wanted to make love to his wife and not just screw her brains out, Brooke wanted it. She had been watching him change lately and was more than a little lustful of her husband's body—among getting her memories of her family back, she wanted memories of sex to come back to her. Brooke had three children with this man and she wanted to feel every bit of him in and around her and she knew she had to wait but it was starting to be too much. Even just being in the same room as him lately made her want to rip his clothes off and it really hadn't started out that way.

When she had first been told she had a husband and children she was scared and she was sad and she still was because she couldn't remember them, but she also wanted it back. The doctor had been very specific about touch, smell and sound and what better way to remember her husband than having sex with him? Of course that wasn't the most important way to get there and Dean was trying to do it the better way, but once the idea of sleeping with Dean had made its way into her mind, Brooke had been dwelling on the subject and fantasizing about it…she couldn't deny that and she wouldn't.

"So, we met at a bar?" Brooke asked Dean as she made her way out of the house and to the Impala.

Dean stood there a moment trying to catch his breath. "Wow…"

"Oh, this?" Brooke asked him, looking at the outfit and then at Dean, blushing furiously.

"You look incredible," Dean told her smiling. "I have the hottest wife in the world."

Brooke smiled and nodded. "And I have the hottest husband."

Dean smiled and they both shared a laugh before Dean helped her into the car before he took her to Tric and she beamed. This was where they had met—a place dear to her heart and to Haley's and when she and Dean went inside, a band was playing and they sat at the bar before Dean looked at her and Brooke looked him in the eye. A genuine smile was plastered onto her face and he chuckled a little before he leaned in and Brooke's heart started beating rapidly…all she wanted to do was kiss him and hard and then pull him into the back and…

"You were sitting in that exact seat when I came over to you and threw you a lame pick-up-line," Dean explained to her with a smile.

Brooke giggled at that, pulled out of her naughty thoughts. "What was the line?"

"You are the hottest girl in this bar," Dean said with a smile. "Then I—"

"—ordered a shot…" Brooke told him, feeling like something was coming back to her.

Dean's eyes lit up. "Yeah, I did! Am I predictable, or are you remembering something?"

"Give me a moment…" Brooke said slowly, a smile on her face.

_"You are the hottest girl in this bar," Dean said with a grin on his face as he ordered her a shot._

_Brooke rolled her eyes at the stranger. "How many times does that line actually work?"_

_"You tell me," he responded as he looked her in the eye._

_Again Brooke rolled her eyes, but the brunette couldn't help but be intrigued by the handsome man that was hitting on her that night. She and Haley were celebrating for a few different reasons, mostly about the successful ending to the first year of college, and since Haley was currently off with Sam, her friend from Stanford grabbing something from the car, Brooke was feeling a tiny bit flattered. Out of all of the other women he could have hit on, Dean Winchester had picked Brooke Davis and she shrugged a bit as she decided to play along._

_"I'm thinking never." Brooke told him, slinging the shot back and smiling at Dean. "I thank you for the shot, however."_

_Dean nodded and started to stand up. "You're welcome."_

_"That's it?" Brooke teased, chewing on her bottom lip. "For some reason I got the impression that you'd try just a little bit harder…"_

"How many times does that line actually work?" Brooke asked him wiggling her eyebrows.

Dean felt his heart beating fast in his chest. "You tell me…"

"You tried so hard for me," Brooke told him, planting her mouth against his and kissing him passionately. "I don't remember everything, but I remember. You were in a…button up shirt and jeans with these really ugly boots."

The feeling of hope, love and joy was practically crushing Dean but he beamed and he kissed his wife lovingly, moaning into her mouth when he felt her hand rest on his lap…she was coming back to him, slowly but surely.

xx

Sam and Haley had had two kids for a reason and that was because kids were a handful. Haley had come from a big family and while she had loved that, it was just too hectic and she didn't want that for herself—Sam, had only agreed to the second one because he was so close to Dean and wanted his children to have a sibling as well. How Brooke and Dean got along with three little boys, God only knew because Haley had her hands full.

"Girls are so much easier," Haley said as she sat on the couch next to Sam, putting her legs over his lap and resting on him. "Do you know how hard it is to bathe two little boys _and_ deal with the other three kids running around screaming about how they don't want baths?"

Sam nodded and kissed his wife's forehead. "Yes, I was there…"

"And promptly ran out to come down here and pop open a beer—do I have one?" Haley asked him.

"Of course I got you a beer too," Sam responded with a chuckle, handing it over.

Haley thanked him and took a few sips, nuzzling her husband's shoulder and smiling at him because hectic night or not, they were hoping that Brooke and Dean were having a good time because this was about them and about Brooke remembering. They had been the power quad and now a corner of that was missing and they didn't know what to do. At least Brooke was still alive, but Haley missed her, especially because before the accident, she and Brooke had been trying to figure out Sam and Dean's secret…their hunting secret.

Brooke and Haley were not stupid.

While they had overlooked such things before, they knew that something was up and that Bobby was in on it and when Brooke and Jamie had been driving home it was from Brooke talking to a lead. Jamie didn't know what was going on, but Haley hadn't brought it up because she was afraid that maybe that was why Brooke had been run off the road…maybe she had figured out something she shouldn't have. It didn't make Haley wanted to leave Sam either, because she loved him and he was the father of her children but she needed to know and that meant that Brooke needed to remember—that was the most important thing.

So, whatever it was that Haley could do to help Brooke to remember was more than sufficient and she was more than willing to do it. Besides, she and Sam got to spend time with kids and they loved kids, and now that everyone was down for the night, all they had to do was wait for Brooke and Dean to come and pick their hoodlums up and take them back home. Then again, if Brooke remembered anything, they were probably going to end up horizontal and so at some point, Sam was going to have to call them and remind them that they needed to come and pick up their kids at some point.

"Do you think she'll remember anything?" Haley mused out loud.

Sam smiled a little bit. "I really hope so."

"So do I," Haley replied nodding. "That probably means they're ripping each other's clothes off about now though, so…"

Actually…Haley was completely spot on about that. Caught up in the excitement of Brooke remembering even that little bit, Brooke and Dean had gone straight home and Brooke had barely started to unlock the door when Dean crashed his lips into hers. She kissed him back passionately and once inside they locked up and Dean hoisted Brooke up, her legs wrapping around his waist. This wasn't even how he had planned it, but just knowing that he was getting through to her somehow had him blind with happiness and he wasn't entirely thinking.

"I've fantasized about this since the doctor said sex would help," Brooke admitted with a gentle laugh as Dean climbed the stairs with her in his arms.

Dean smirked at that. "Oh yeah? How did it go?"

"Well in one of the fantasizes you just slammed me up against a wall…"

"Baby, that can be arranged…"

Brooke giggled at the lust in Dean's voice and made a gentle cry when they got to the top of the stairs and she felt her back make contact with the wall. Dean's teeth started to nip at the flesh on her neck as she moaned gently, squeezing him with her thighs and trying to pull him in even closer to her, tilting her head back against the wall. Her hand slipped down to undo his belt so she could get his pants off, but instead Dean's phone rang and they both sighed loudly, but he dug into his pockets and pulled it out.

"Shit, it's Sam," Dean said aloud.

Brooke gasped and just like that, the moment was over. "We have kids to pick up…"

"Hey, Sam," Dean said as he nodded at Brooke, answering the phone and smiling a little. "Of course we're on our way to pick them up right now…"

**Note: Short and sweet with a cockblock in it, haha. I'm building up their tension because it is way too much fun, but there are some family moments and some more UST with some more Dean being romantic and some flashbacks in the next chapter. Haley…what were you and Brooke doing? Is that why the accident happened? Feedback is always appreciated!**


	10. More Barriers

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Dedicated to princessjames21, who always keeps me on my toes and really needed some Brean in her life, so how could I deny her? Also dedicated to tigereyekum who has been in need of an update for this story for a little while.**

**This one has a bunch of twists and turns in it, as well as Dean being a Daddy, which I think you'll all really enjoy…I know I enjoyed writing it.**

**WARNINGS: Language, Blood, Sex, Dark Themes**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

All Bobby wanted to do was visit his daughter, and perhaps talk to Dean about what it was that was going on in his head because right now he felt like something big was going down and Brooke was in the middle of it. Perhaps that was because he'd talked to a chatty demon recently, but he also felt like maybe Brooke and Haley were onto them all because his daughter wasn't stupid and because Haley had been trying to figure this all out for years. Add in that a demon was saying that none of this was a coincidence or an accident, and Bobby knew that that meant that Brooke was in trouble.

"DADDY!" Brooke exclaimed happily.

That part she remembered—finding out that Bobby was her biological father. They had been close since she found him and really there for each other and even though she didn't currently remember the more recent bonding, he was her father. She wrapped her arms around him and gave him a big hug, Bobby holding her tightly, Dean smiling at the embrace as he held the twins in the back and front holder that Brooke had fashioned for them. Of course she hadn't been the one to invent it, but she had wanted all of her boys to have things she had made and Dean liked having the twins right there with him.

"How have you been, baby girl?" Bobby asked her with smile, stroking her hair.

Brooke smiled sadly. "I've been managing. Dean has been the perfect man through all of this, really. If you hadn't given him your blessing before, you should give it now. I don't think any other man would be quite as understanding of my lack of memories."

"I'm sorry, have you seen you? Other men would do it just to be able to—"

"—that's quite enough out of you, Boy," Bobby warned him shaking his head as Brooke laughed. "Though I was meaning to talk to you…"

Brooke nodded at the trailed off hint. "I was going to take Jamie with me to go and see Haley, actually. Sam had to run off and do something and I want to spend time with my nieces and my favorite little man."

"Brooke, baby, you can't pick favorites," Dean said covering little Robert's ears. "It's not what good mommies do…"

"You've got a point," Brooke told him as Jamie bounded into the room and squealed with glee.

He was always happy to see his grandfather and Bobby picked him up and held him tightly before setting him down and hugging Brooke once more. Bobby had almost lost both of them and he knew that he wouldn't be able to handle that because they were his flesh and blood. He remembered it like it was yesterday, Brooke setting the little blue bundle in his arms…just as he remembered Brooke running to him when she found out she was pregnant with the twins. Both times she had told him first and while the first time he wasn't as happy that Dean Winchester had knocked up his little girl, Dean had made an honest woman out of her…that saying was still weird for him.

Once Brooke and Jamie had gone, Dean offered Bobby some coffee and smiled when Bobby got Johnny out of the back of the holder, Dean getting Robert out and both of them looking at each other. Somehow, normal life had crept up on Dean and he wanted it more than anything which was why he'd pretty much quit and got a real job. He had a family to support and while he didn't always say 'no' to a hunt, he knew that this was where his heart was.

"I don't think that the accident was an accident," Bobby said suddenly as Dean poured him coffee.

Hearing those words, Dean shook his head and then went to put Johnny and Robert into their playpen, coming back out into the kitchen so that he could address Bobby better. He ran his hand down his face and grabbed his own cup of coffee, sitting across from Bobby and trying to figure out what it was that he wanted to say to him because this was news to him and not the kind that he actually wanted. Bobby hadn't wanted to tell him like this either, but it was important and together they could get down to the bottom of this and he knew it.

"What are you trying to say, Bobby?" Dean asked him slowly.

Bobby ran his hand down his face. "I'm saying that Haley and Brooke caught wind of the one thing none of us wanted them to know. Remember when she got mad at you for telling Jamie that sometimes bad things happen?"

"I…yeah," Dean admitted shaking his head. "I didn't want to have to train him, but I don't want him caught off guard either. I want him to be an innocent but if this—this is a demon? Did the demon take her memories?"

"No, the demon ran her off the road," Bobby clarified as he drank his coffee too. "I just finished up a hunt that said that Brooke was the key to something. She and Haley digging about? Not good."

"We should have told both of them from the beginning!" Dean said louder than he had intended to. "Now, what if Haley is next, huh? Brooke's fine as long as she doesn't get her memories back…or at least the demon hasn't come to try and finish the job yet!"

It was obvious that Dean was really angry about all of this and Bobby understood, angry about it too because their lies had done this. They had lied to the two women that they loved most and even though Sam and Dean had gotten out of the game mostly and Bobby was happy for the normal lives, you never really got out and Brooke and Haley just weren't prepared. That meant that it really was possible that Haley was next and maybe…maybe keeping Brooke's memories gone was a good thing. No, they needed her to remember exactly what happened and why she was in the car that night.

"What does she remember right now?" Bobby asked him, chewing on his lip and then adjusting his baseball cap. "I need to know why she was in the car that night."

Dean nodded slowly. "Yeah, we need to know what she was doing out that night because even Jamie was suspicious. I could ask him, but that might tip her off."

"She won't remember yet, so what's the harm?" Bobby asked him. "We need to know what she was doing that night, or how are we supposed to protect her? I don't even know what demon is behind this…and she just might."

xx

Haley was glad to see Brooke so happy with Jamie, having left the twins with Dean because Dean wanted to get in some time with them on his day off. Brooke was feeling better these days because she and Jamie were pretty close and he was talking to her about the accident because she wanted to remember and he knew it was important to talk about it. They were the medicine each other needed and she rustled his hair as he came in to grab a bowl of apples to take out to his cousins, all of them playing soldiers out in the back yard.

"So how is the ol' memory?" Haley asked Brooke slowly.

Brooke shrugged a little bit. "It's alright. I'm remembering a little bit here and there, but the accident is pretty blocked out. The doctor says she wants me to see a counselor, so I'm meeting with one in a couple of hours after I drop Jamie back off with his father. She thinks I might be blocking it out on purpose."

"Well, who wants to remember such a traumatic event, right?" Haley asked with a gentle laugh, biting into an apple and pausing. "But you don't remember anything at all?"

"Hales, what are you asking me exactly?" Brooke asked after a pause. "You're acting like I need to remember and I know I need to remember but…what was I doing? Do you know?"

"I just…" Haley paused a moment and then took a deep breath. "You and I were working on a project of a sort and you said that you had information and that you were coming home with it. I don't know what happened right after that, but sometime in between that phone call and you coming home, you were in the accident and now…"

"…now I can't remember," Brooke finished for her.

She nodded at her best friend and then chewed on her lip, wanting to know what it was that was so important, because Haley had this look in her eyes. It was almost like it was a matter of life and death or something and Brooke was starting to feel pretty anxious because she didn't quite know what her part was here. Brooke had figured something out and was that why she had been run off of the road? All she knew was that now it seemed like it was rather imperative that she get some answers.

"Hales…what were we trying to find out?" Brooke asked her.

Haley took a deep breath. "We were trying to find out what Sam and Dean are hiding from us."

Brooke didn't quite know how to take in that new information, but she knew that Haley must not have thought it was all _that_ bad whatever it was since she was willing still to have Sam around her and their kids. Not to mention that Haley was so sweet to Jamie and the twins and Dean and Brooke was starting to feel like maybe part of Dean's guilt was because he knew. Did he know? After asking Haley a few more questions she was pretty sure he didn't, but nevertheless he knew something was up when she dropped Jamie off and just gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek even though they'd moved up to kissing each other on the lips when entering and leaving the house, and sometimes just a room in general.

All Brooke wanted to do was get this over with, so she went to see the counselor, smiling at the redhead and taking her seat on the couch. She started by explaining why she was there and explaining what she could remember, and then the woman asked her to describe in length how her few sorted memories that she had now had come back to her. It seemed simple enough to Brooke, so she laid down on the couch in the office and she closed her eyes as she tried to explain what it was that was helping her to remember her own life.

She didn't even notice the counselor's eyes go black a moment…and then return to normal.

**Note: I know it has been forever, but I'm totally working on it! We've worked up to a bit of the climax of the story and I'm really enjoying where this is going. Next chapter will be a bit angsty with a cliffhanger of a different kind than this one, and hopefully I'll get it up either tomorrow or the day after that because it's partially done. Feedback is always appreciated!**


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